Welcome to COVEN
Beginning at the end...
Hello and welcome to COVEN (by Anna Marie Tendler), my new newsletter. I have decided to move my email list over to Substack as a way of creating a more thoughtful and intimate experience. COVEN will be a place to receive my thoughts and musings on life. It will be fun, conversational, and at some points silly. Perhaps you’ve read my memoir Men Have Called Her Crazy (if you haven't, I hope you do. I'm very proud of it). It was a serious book injected with LOLs. COVEN will be mostly LOLs injected with a pinch of seriousness. You'll get book and movie recommendations, interviews with other artists, behind-the-scenes of my life and work and (everyone's favorite) cat content.
For this inaugural newsletter, I’d like to begin at the end—with a year-end wrap up of some of my favorite things from 2024. I ask that we pretend I’ve been doing this newsletter all year, then it won’t feel so weird that I’m beginning with an ending. Thanks in advance for using your imagination and giving me this grace.
In no particular order and with no particular categories in mind, here are my favorite things from the year 2024:
· The Substance – It was gross and funny and great and could have only been made by a woman. A+. No notes.
· The Northern Lights – I have always wanted to see the Northern Lights. I assumed I would need to go to Finland or something to do so. But one night I noticed the sky glowing red. I assumed I had finally developed that brain tumor I’ve feared getting since I was a kid. Then I thought I was witnessing an alien invasion. When I got home I walked into the middle of my driveway, pointed my iphone at the red spot, and took a photo which, because it was dark, shot automatically with a long exposure. Instead of red, I saw a sky illuminated with pink, purple, and turquoise. I canceled my imaginary trip to Finland.
· Men Have Called Her Crazy – I finished writing and published a memoir this year. Spending nearly two years holed up in my house writing a book was IMO an ideal way to pass time. I loved the quiet. I loved the solitude. I loved flexing my brain. I loved completely zoning out to two different seasons of Love Island UK in the evenings. Yes, of course, I watched it with subtitles like any normal American who can’t understand British slang.
Publishing a memoir is not for the faint of heart. A lot of people get mad at you – some who know you personally and a lot who don’t. Naively I had prepared myself for incels to come at me for what I had written. But it turned out to be other women who were deeply offended by me. Some might say unnecessarily offended?? I have cultivated a life surrounded by extremely kind, smart, empathetic, ambitious female friends, so this turn of events genuinely caught me off guard. I am lucky though, many more people liked the book than hated it. I felt very welcomed by the literary community, many of whom I’ve remained in contact with both over the internet and IRL. I believe that when you rile people up with your work, you’re on the right track. On my tour I got to meet so many of you who read MHCHC and loved it. You were the absolute coolest. And all so nice. Like almost freakishly nice. People who worked the venues even pointed out how nice you were.
I wrote MHCHC because I had something I needed to say about mental health and about patriarchy, having spent the last five years in a near-constant wrestling match with how it defines so much of the world and how it has shaped my life personally. Patriarchy hates women. It paints us as unstable. It preys on our insecurity. It protects the deplorable, if not illegal, actions of men in positions of power. It turns women against each other with its façade of scarcity by relying on us to tear each other down, to participate in judgment of one another, to be envious and jealous. Patriarchy holds women to a standard that makes no room for messiness or imperfection. MHCHC, I hope, offers a different approach to the female experience - one that is messy, and allows for mistakes, and is honest, even when honesty is hard to face.
Since August I have received hundreds of messages from strangers telling me how much MHCHC meant to them. Most of these messages begin with the same phrase: “You’ll probably never see this…” I want you to know that I saw every single one. I’m sorry I couldn’t write back to them, but I did see them, I read them, and I can’t tell you how much they meant to me. On one had I feel sad that my book resonated with so many of you, but on the other I feel proud and grateful that it reading it brought you solace. Writing it brought me solace too.
· “Wristwatch” by MJ Lenderman – I have a confession to make: I didn’t totally freak over Manning Fireworks like the rest of the music scene seemed to. I can’t totally put my finger on why. I don’t like to be a contrarian just for the hell of it- if the masses get behind something there is likely a good reason for it (i.e. the Olympics, Moo Deng, Paul Mescal’s thighs). Perhaps I’m envious that Lenderman has a houseboat docked at the Himbo Dome. Perhaps I’m envious that he has a wristwatch that’s a pocket knife and a megaphone. Or maybe I’m just envious that he is so young, and cute, and talented. Regardless, I absolutely love the song “Wristwatch”. The guitar riffs make me want to listen to it on repeat all day while ripping cigarettes. (Disclaimer: in a month from now I legit might be like, “guys, Manning Fireworks is the best thing I’ve ever heard and I’ve never suggested otherwise.” Don’t remind me of my above take when this happens.)
· Crokinole – This was explained to me as a “Canadian Heritage Game.” Because I’m not Canadian, I’m not totally sure what that means except that it was originally developed in Canada in the olden days. I played it at my bff Amanda’s house and became immediately obsessed. It’s sort of like a mix between curling, shuffle board, and hockey, but you play it while sitting at a large octagonal board.
· Deco Beauty Nail Stickers – I got very into nail stickers this year and imho Deco Beauty makes the best ones. You need a good bottom and top coat, as well as a thin, curved tweezers. Patience also a plus.
· Mahashmashana – The sixth studio album by Father John Misty is (to begrudgingly quote every male critic who wants you to believe he might speak a second language) a TOUR DE FORCE. I have always loved FJM. His music is funny and insightful and smart and musically masterful. Mahashmashana is really next level though. It’s like a mix between The Rolling Stones, The Who, Sgt. Pepper’s, George Gershwin, and Father John Misty. I add FJM to the description of his own music because his sound is so uniquely him it can’t simply be described as an amalgam of other people’s music. The title track, which is also the first track, boldly sounds like what most musicians might opt to be their album closer. The song is oceanic, by which I mean huge and like a audial tsunami. In opening the album this way, FJM makes a risky promise to hold pace with each song that follows. A lesser musician could never pull this off, but he does. Mahashmashana is only 8 songs, but it is 50 minutes long. There is not a single filler song. It is pure orchestral rock and roll. It is one of the most impressive albums I’ve ever listen to. 11/10.
· The Brooklyn Half Marathon – I ran the Brooklyn half marathon in May. Training was intense, but race day was amazing. So many of my friends came out and cheered for me along the route. They made MHCHC related signs. I stopped and hugged them all even though it slowed my pace. I’m currently working on an essay about running. Perhaps someday it will be placed somewhere and you will be able to read it.
· Wild West Village – My friend Lola Kirke wrote an essay collection called Wild West Village. It doesn’t officially come out until January 28th 2025, but I got an early copy so I’m counting it as part of 2024. You might be thinking – “AMT, you are only listing this book because you know the author. This feels like favoritism.” TBH, fair, but I would have loved this book even if I had no idea who Lola was. As I wrote in my blurb for the book, it’s “a hilarious romp through a world of epic eccentricities. With gracious acuity, Lola shares what it means to feel like a misfit and how she comes to create her own sense belonging.” Indeed, I just quoted myself. Lola’s book release event for Wild West Village will be at The Strand in New York City on January 28th and I will be moderating!
· The East Coast Summer Hydrangea Boom – you had to see it to believe it.
· Half Magic Beauty – A radical act of self-care over the next four years is to exclusively wear makeup I would have worn to a rave in the late-90s/early 2000s. I wore Half Magic Beauty at every book event and got non-stop compliments. Everything is sparkly and glittery and super pigmented. It makes me feel young, which is exactly what I am.
· Anita DeMonte Laughs Last – This novel by Xochitl Gonzalez is a must-read. If it isn’t abundantly clear from my own book (and basically everything I put out into the world) I am obsessed with anything that explores the nuances of gender dynamics. This book has gender dynamics AND class dynamics AND race dynamics. I especially enjoy when a work realistically articulates how women get stuck in the one-down position, while simultaneously resisting the (very boring, very predictable) urge to blame women for ending up there. Anyone who has untangled themselves from the grips of patriarchy understands it’s the system, not the woman, and Gonzalez masterfully illuminates this through two dynamic female characters as they navigate the (very white, very male) art world during two different periods of time. This was one of my favorite lines from Anita DeMonte Laughs Last - “When I looked in his eyes, what I saw was the most dangerous thing of all in a man: insecurity. Because they will crawl over and push down anyone around them in their desperate thrashing to find themselves comfortably affirmed at the top.”
· Cinestill B&W 35mm film - It speaks for itself
· Sabrina Carpenter – In aesthetic, she has packaged herself in a hyper-femme, saccharine-pink, 1950’s throwback, but listen to her lyrics and you quickly realize she places herself in control and in the power position every time. Even her song “Please Please Please” which begins as a plea to a boy to not break her heart, flips your initial read when it becomes obvious the song is less a worried ode and more a stark warning. “Heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another / I beg you don’t embarrass me, motherfucker.” LOL! Short N’ Sweet is horny as hell and I never anticipated knowing so much about Barry Keoghan’s dick when 2024 began.
Wow, what a year. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this newsletter for twelve whole months and you’ve all been here THE WHOLE TIME. (You can’t see it but I’m winking at you.) We have reached the end. Which in this case is just the beginning. Lucky us. I hope to see you all in January when the COVEN meets again.
Thank you for being here.
-AMT
After watching Saltburn last year I thought I knew all there was to know about Barry Keogan... little did we know. Here's to whatever we learn next year!
Hi Anna!! I’m so excited and happy you have decided to share your experiences, random thoughts with us! 💜☃️